Friday, July 13, 2012

Young Adult (Running Scared)

Some people become adults when they become married (however old they are then), some do when they move out of their parent's home while others become adults when they get into college or start working. I, Dooshima Mabonga at 25 years of age became an adult when i used MY money to buy a TV last week.

Now, buying a TV is not a big deal in itself per se. It's just that when you're an irresponsible brat who would rather spend money on food, lingerie, unnecessary road trips and friends than on where you live (hello everyone who saw my apartment in Abj) then buying any sort of furniture becomes a HUGE deal.

School starts in about a month and i'll be moving into an apartment 2 days before that (not student housing o *side eye*) all the while working full time and i'm scared out of mind. Talking of being scared, did i mention i killed a snake all by myself last Friday?

As I was saying, I'm scared of failing because i graduated (undergrad) in 2008 and i know my brain is rusty.

I'm scared of not finding the right roommate (roommate, housemate, flatmate same difference jor) to rent the other bedroom and
I'm even more scared that said roommate will up and leave without notice and i'll be stuck with bills i can't pay without feeding on my nails and hair.

I'm scared of not getting a job in my field till i'm done with Grad School but then again,
I'm scared that leaving my job will be me kissing goodbye to ever being a School Counsellor ( I need at least 2years of Teaching experience with a Masters to qualify for this, I have just 6months and i'm exausted).

I'm scared that i'm no longer scared of marriage and relationships.

I'm scared that there's so much trouble in Nigeria and all fingers are ending up on praying Nigerians who have been accused of praying and doing nothing else while the accusers accuse and do nothing else.

I'm scared that one day i'll have a nasty argument with someone on twitter over the last fear but above all,

I am scared of losing my faith.

I have hope though that this all is going to work out and God is going to make grace and favour be with me and my people so i'm happy and still a little tired but not so scared.

The best part though is having faith, because faith is stronger than anything hope could ever hope to be. So i'm holding onto my faith (and that of praying Nigerians) and smiling because i know that no matter what, no matter how, it will all be ok and this experience like every other will not be a weist. ;)

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and always be ready to give a defence to everyone who asks you a reason for the faith that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evil doers, those who revilde your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed 1Peter 3:15-16