An Early Valentine

Sometimes, love people so deeply that you open the door when they ask to leave you

Sometimes, ask “what can I do to make you feel loved?” and then do it, no further questions asked

Sometimes, love people enough to allow them be themselves

Sometimes, love humanity so deeply that you want freedom for all people, by any means necessary… even in the language of their oppressors

(Because) Sometimes, love is justice 

(And) Sometimes, justice is not peaceful

(Which means) Sometimes, love is not peaceful and that flavor of love is the answer that is needed

*

Sometimes, do whatever is in your power to help people feel seen, feel safe, feel loved

Sometimes, just love.

I’m Not Dying pt 2

*I posted this on Instagram but sharing it here for ‘posterity’

On June the 19th, I got the Total Hysterectomy that changed my life! It was done laparoscopically, through a robot, so I got 4 incisions on my sides for the prongs and one through my bellybutton to remove my uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes. I had fibroids the size of grapefruits, a septate uterus and cysts on my fallopian tubes. It exacerbated my blood disorder, I was in so much pain, anemic all the time and barely able to function. Worst of all, this could have been treated in 2012 but I was declined a hysterectomy without so much as an ultrasound to prove I was fine - just because I was of child bearing age and my ability to have children was more important than my physical health, mental health and overall well-being. So I sucked it up and continued to live in pain and misery. 

I know a ton of women who KNOW the duration, pain and heaviness of their period is not “normal” but get gaslit into thinking it is or tricked into getting on birth control to mask the periods instead of an ultrasound to see what’s actually going on. 

If you have a uterus, this is your reminder that: Pain is not normal; Bleeding for a week is not normal; Being anemic without other underlying health conditions is not normal and; you are worth more than your ability to have children. Go to your doctor and insist on an ultrasound then take it from there. It might be nothing, it might be something, it might require medication, it might require a variety of surgeries but you won’t know how to get better until you know what’s wrong. So please, ask for an ultrasound! 

I was supported by a lot of women who have been through this and would love to support you too so feel free to reach out. I’m an inch away from “total” recovery but I’m doing very well, building core strength as I learn the new shape of my belly, deciding if I want to keep the weight and build muscle vs lose the weight and my new boobilicious boobs, and raging against the machine as often as I can. I’ll be in Morocco for a bit so come visit me sometime let’s sit crooked and talk straight ❤️

Ps: The travel blog will be active this year, check it out Drifting Dosh