Miss Elizabeth!

*I walk into the classroom feeling sexy with the braids i just made

Kid A: Miss Elizabeth, you look bald!
Kid B: No, she doesn't! She just needs a hair cut.
Kid C: *squinting* She looks like a Marine...
Kid D: Miss Elizabeth, you look just like my mum! She has that kind of dress and those kind of shoes and that kind of face
Me: Is this a good face?
Kid D: Yeah, it is. It's a great face!

***
Kid: Why do you have black all over?
Me: Errrm... 'cos i like the shirt and i wanted to go all black today.
Kid: No! I mean, why do you have black all over your skin?
Me: I was born that way baby, there are black people and there are white people
Kid: Oh... So we're all born white and some people turn black when they grow up?
Me: No, some people are born black and some people are born white. I was born black love
Kid: Hm... but if some some people are born black how come all the kids in this class are white?
Me: That's just 'cause there are no black kids in here, I promise you there are black babies. Every black person you see was born black
Kid: Oh... *Looks relieved for a second then sits back looking even more confused*


***
Normally, I'm with the 4s and 5s (pre-k) but I have been a substitute with the 3yr olds for a couple of weeks now and i've grown to absolutely love them too. They are not allowed to sit on their cots when they are piled up after nap time but i usually sit on the pile to watch them eat during snack time. One of the kids always rushes his meal so he can join me and I always let him. Anyway, i was coming back from the restroom one day and met his mum on the corridor, this is what happened...
Mum: *Laughing but looking embarassed* I'm so sorry Elizabeth but i have to tell you this
Me: It's ok, what's wrong?
Mum: Well, i walked into the classroom and saw my kid sitting on the cots but before i could say anything he went 'It's ok mum, my brown teacher said i can sit here'!
All I could do was drop my face in my palm and laugh my heart out. Who cares about political correctness? Innocence is bliss.

***
It's been a long day, the kids have been crazy and I'm just sitting, trying to rest while I watch them play in their centres. One of the kids leaves his centre, grabs a book and walks up to me
Kid: Miss Elizabeth, can you please read this book to me?
Me: *Frowning and looking at the centre where he's supposed to be but deciding to play nice* Errrrm... Ok
Kid: Can i sit in your lap?
Me: *Starting to panic 'cause this is one of my most difficult kids and he's not the fuzzy kind* Errrrm... sure baby
Kid: *Sitting and snuggling close* I love you Miss Elizabeth!

On my birthday with some of my darlyns :D

I love my kids! They drive me crazy sometimes and there have been days when I've been seconds short of grabbing my purse and quitting but there is something about children that no matter how difficult they get, you can't help but love them. Children are amazing, they are giving, loving, sincere and above all, forgiving and I can see why Jesus would say "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me." Matthew 18:3-5

This has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life and there's nothing more precious than having a little child help build your faith in God.

How una dey?  I get all teary eyed when i get emails from you guys, i love you all so much and i am grateful for the opportunity to share stories and experiences with you. May God continue to bless and help you grow to be everything He made you to be.

P.S
My friend, Andy, is having a blogathon this month themed "Write like no one is reading". He is having anyone and everyone submit random posts and he uploads one everyday. I broke the rule a little by writing like everyone was reading, please check it out here-----> Cool Beans and you can holla at him through email or the comment box if you want to submit a post.

P.P.S
If you ever call me Eliza fowl will jam you :p :*
Stay blessed

Beauty from insanity

Empty roads, street lights, starless skies...

**Get into your car between 11pm and 4am, wind down the windows, drive slow, get Frou Frou, The Calling, James Morrison or whoever you're 'feeling' on the stereo and let everything you see become your muse.

Everyday we make decisions; some good, some bad. Some days we get almost everything right, other days we get it all wrong. But like the street lights in the rearview mirror, the moment has passed and the deed is done. So the best thing to do is look ahead through the windshield because we'll see more streetlights on an even bigger road.

Everyday, we make mistakes but the starless skies are like our tomorrows, the starless skies are like our fresh starts, the starless skies are like the new mercies of God every morning. If you get it right the second time, celebrate. If you don't get it right, still celebrate. The fact that you know you didn't get it right is the first step to getting it right.

A late night drive like reality may not always be happiness, inspiration and bright lights, once in a while, you'll have to park by the road, wind up (for security) and cry your heart out. But when you're done, wind those windows back down so the fresh air can blow away your hurt as you continue on your journey.

If you've never done this before i beg you to try it some night. Feel the magic. Experience the beauty. Stop for a moment and take it all in.


The road, street signs and streetlights may be man-made but they were inspired by God and a starless sky is one of the most refreshing things to gaze at. The beauty you see may look the same every night but it feels different every single night.

Thank God for sight, thank God for beauty and above all, thank God for a sound mind.

Yup, we can see this! Yup, she and the picture are beautiful. But no, Wandoo's mind isn't always sound! Lmho *snort*

God bless you

Impossible light!

I know this...

*

I love how all the constellations are named after Greek heroes

It reminds me that even the immortals, they have vices too

I love around 5am when all the lights dim

After the sexy ones have become middle aged in their 12 hour lifespans

When the glitter fades and rests more like sad stars than gold leaf

I love naked, white sheets, how they work like paint thinner to remove last nights fresco

How they dry you off after soaking in a tub of room temperature lovers

I love the cab rides you take back into yourself

Away from the still beautiful people who are all elsewhere

Doing impossibly beautiful things

When you arrive home, you will greet the mirror like a criminal in a line up

With premeditated sins, armed with brass knuckles and all the good intentions

Buried far beneath the rap sheet

I planned to be a sinner tonight

Could have been something else

But looked way too good in my red dress to be anything Christian

I was talking to 3 different men in 5 different languages

I was twisting a blunt straw into page 47 of the kama sutra

I was dancing in an attempt to melt the belts off every man in the room

But I heard the truth that night!

A Turk, speaking Spanish, didn't know me from Adam said

"Tú creas en Dios pero tu haces malas cosas”
'You believe in God, but you do bad things'

Suddenly, I realized I was in a place where all they play is house music
But can’t say I really felt at home
In a barely audible, barely recognizable zone
Between having a good time and simply wasting it

I was a glutton with a grin, drinking warm gin, knowing no one’s name
but somehow I was everyone’s friend
I was standing in stilettos that made me six feet tall
but still felt small
I was messing up the shoes I paid too much for and still hurt to walk in

Talk about conviction!

Truth is, nobody believes me when I say I’m a virgin
Truth is, the bible didn't see the inside of my face for a week while i was on vacation
Truth is, I’m not innocent
I’m just an abstinent fireplace that doesn’t wanna feel the fire kindles between her legs anymore

So don’t mind the ashes, they’re just evidence of how brightly I can glow
And I wanna glow hard, like one dim star
On an otherwise starless night
That shines just to prove its fidelity

I know what you must think of me,
“What hypocrisy!”
But I don’t wanna enter prayer reeking of my addiction, stinking of cologne
I don’t want God to smell another man on me
Mistaking ménage à trois for the Trinity

So thank God the stars don’t judge us for what we do beneath them
Thank God the stars don't see the evil we commit under their names

Thank God for the silence, for the dimness, for nights spent alone,

Thank God for friends who know more than just your bra strap 

And thank God for cab rides home

'Cause tonight, I'm gonna strip the spotlight

Tonight, I'm gonna turn off Frank Ocean

Tonight, I'm gonna take off  the stilettos

I'm gonna take off the tourquoise rings

I'm gonna take off the lip gloss

And i'm gonna sleep naked

Not trying to be sexy just trying to be me, a girl

With a shaved head and with eyes deep enough to stand in

With convictions strong enough to stand on

I'm finding the mercy of God right where i'm standing and

It's binding, it's blinding, it's forgiveness

But most of all,

It's mine!

So tonight, I'm gonna sit out on the fire escape and

I'm gonna sit there eating an apple and

I'm gonna nickname the view "Eden" and

I'm gonna look up at those tragic stars

With their pagan hearts full of mourning and i'm gonna say

"What a fall? But what light, what impossible light?"

*Cab rides and the morning after by Alysa Harris.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity... Psalm 32 :1-2a

Here is a video of her performance and the link ( http://youtu.be/JQHdECyAKIk ) if you can't see it on your phone. Stay blessed!

Houston, home away from home

*razz post alert

How una dey? Hmmmm... that's how i decided to meet and spend a couple of days with Gbemisoke in Houston o, turns out i've been on a dulling p all this while. As soon as i got there, babe didn't even let me get into the house, she asked me to follow her to go get us ogi and akara for breakfast. I was like "Ehn? Ogi and akara ke?" I kukuma flew into the car with my kpakrikpa to see for myself.

The name of the store 'Onola Imports African Foods' didn't really trip me, these are what got me rolling with laughter and joy

No comment

Do you see the mortar? lmho!

There was "salad cream", ribena, cheese balls, custard and stuff you only find in naija.  You should have seen me running around, touching things and smiling like a bush girl. I was sooo happy. We were a little too late for the akara so we just went home and made breakfast but the fact that i was in a place where naija goodies were accessible kept me excited.

Next, we took the kids to IKEA for a radio disney abi na disney radio show, how we ended up eating licking chopping consuming frozen yogurt in the rain is a hilarious tale for another day.

On Sunday, we went to Redeemed for service. Aondo wam man terlem e! Chai! Women were in iro and buba, others had on onigogoro that were reaching for the skies and the ushers had on long skirts and those ridiculously wide hats you only see in (naija) churches. I was almost in tears mehn, i felt so at home and super excited. Like i said on twitter, Gbemi was the first Nigerian i had seen in 6 months and so was the number of black people at RCCG that day and i just couldn't stop smiling and staring.

Anyway, after service, an old friend took me out for naija lunch. I had one correct nkwobi like that ehn? Kai! To make matters better, he took us to an aboki's place for koda and kaza (kidney and chicken) to go and then dropped me off at Gbemi's. You should have seen her reaction what she saw the arrangee, lmho, all plans for dinner were cancelled. My guy woman commot ijebu garri and sugar sharp-sharp, it was the most hilarious thing

Forget the koda for a quick sec, do u see
the sewing machine? Ehen! It is not for
decoration, 'come an sow clot'

My baybeee... Biko, turn ya neck!

chop chop! See as she set mouth

My daughters' husbands *cough*

My latest stash from Gbemi :D

I had a blast mehn, the 4hr road-trip was totally worth it and though my arms still hurt, my heart is still smiling. Gbemi is an amazing woman of God and I absolutely love her (and her family). I have signed the papers and adopted myself into her family whether she likes it or yes cos this is one is a keeper. May the Lord bless and keep you babe, thank you so much for having me over

P.S

I had plans to move to Houston but i think i'll just make it my safe haven, a little home away from home where i can run to whenever i need to refresh my mind and soul. Did i mention we had pepperish fish pie, puff puff, fried yam with akara and plantain for breakfast the day i left? Dey there!

P.P.S

Dis naija chidren dat sombody whee born in yankee dat whee come an start teaching dia parents how to speak English ehn, hia!

My friend: ....... EnglAnd...

His son: It's not EnglAnd daddy, it's EnglEnd! Why do you say it like that?!

Me: *side eye*

****

Gbemi: Don't step into the wota!

Nathan: Woter? Woter? Wader rather!

Me: *side eye*

God bless you guys and have a great day everyone :*

Old Roger

I wrote this piece to be my after life post. I was going to leave it in my drafts, give my cousin my blogger password and have it posted after i passed on (that's if i died before her). But as i wrote, i wondered how many people needed to read this TODAY and it just didn't feel like one i should leave in my drafts 'till the right time' like the others.

Secondly, a couple of bloggers have disappeared and we don't know for sure if they just got tired of blogging or are dead so i beg you guys to let us know if you decide to stop blogging and/or write a letter from beyond and have someone publish it after you've passed. I know say una blood dey hot for dis dormot so you don't have to agree with me or do it o, i just think that people who think they are dying leave no holds barred and good or bad that's the kind of thing people who don't think they are dying need to read. This will still be my letter from beyond by the way, just wanted to share.

***

If you're reading this then it means i am dead. Yes, dead and gone like old Roger! Seriously though, I obviously don't know how i died but my sincere prayer is that i'm in heaven sitting beside my Daddy.  See, you are still alive! Forget what the world will think of you and give your life to Christ. Life is too short to be messing around, trying to please people. If you're not sure that there is a God out there then i beg you to err on the right side, give your life anyway ('cause what do you have to lose afterall) and see for yourself why the gospel has survived after 2,000 years of persecution.

Forgive your family and friends, love them, with all your heart! Preach the gospel as if the world is ending tomorrow because it just might and above all, love God. Love God with emotions and actions so strong you can't describe, love God as if not loving Him will be the death of you, love God with every inch of your being, every breath, every move, every word, love God! Love Him, praise Him, give Him everything then sit back and watch Him work wonders.

Being a christian is not beans, don't expect a smooth ride 'just because' you've given your life to Christ. Only expect that no matter how hard it gets you will be blessed with peace so deep it will leave your jaw on the ground. The kind of peace that makes you smile from within and say "na God", that peace that populates heaven and depopulates hell. Psalm 37:25 Hebrews 13:5 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said "I will never leave you nor forsake you"

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me bring love;

Where injury, pardon;

Where doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy!

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life!

God bless you

Shots, life!

For Shanpepe


Imagine taking a child for a shot at the hospital, whether you are one of the parents or not it definately means that there is some sort of relationship and a certain level of trust between you two. There is a quick second alot of people never think much of when the kid gets poked with the needle, especially if the child is less than 2 years old, but this second holds the truth to reality and most of what life is truly about. That horrible second when the needle gets in and the child looks at you with shock as if to say "how could you do this to me?" before screaming out in pain, a scream that should by all the laws of physics shatter window panes, and all you want to do is not just hug them but make them understand that the shots are necessary for growth and protection from diseases.

Many times, life feels like getting a(n unnecessary) shot and most times we get mad at God because the pain and struggles we go through make no sense at all. But if you listen closely, if you go back to that second and see the hurt in the adult's eye as the kid screams out in then pain then you'll hear God say something along the lines of "though you may not understand today, tomorrow, next year or ever, I want you to know that i let you go through certain things to help you grow... because i love you". Jeremiah 29:11-12 For i know the thoughts that i think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you.

There are no words good enough to comfort someone who is mourning but then again, when God takes people away from us it's possible that it has nothing to do with us but that their time was just up. And if that is the case then be assured more than ever that the God who is watching you go through this pain WILL take care of you, He will heal your heart and provide for you. Joshua 1:9 'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God IS with you wherever you go' and whatever you go through.

God bless you.

Ps.
Meet my future husband Mali Music *cheesy smile* and (try to ignore his awesomeness but) listen to the lyrics. Pay close attetion to 1:59-259, especially from 2:33. I love you!

If you can't see the video on your phone try the direct link http://t.co/udY4lZBk

My precious!

'One man in a thousand will stick closer than a brother and it is worthwile seeking him half your days if you find him before the other'

Chiki, my darlyn, my blood!

This cousin has stuck closer than the proverbial friend who sticks closer than a brother. I love you babe, thank you for listening, caring and always being there for me. I pray for you everyday and cherish every moment we spend together, doing the right things and (almost) getting into trouble. You are my cousin, my sister and cho boki u shima shima. Happy Valentine's day in advance love, may the love and fear of the Lord forever grow in your heart and may you find love, peace and contentment as you follow Him.

*******

Town Hall Meeting!

Una weldone o... After all the querries i've recieved it's obvious that the footnote about the comments wasn't good enough so here's the reason why i disabled comments on this blog. 

 I am not a very good person! I am self-righteous, proud and sometimes put so much focus on the little things that i forget about the bigger picture. I get mad at people who don't drop comments on my blog after i've dropped atleast 3 on their's.

When people comment on how much they loved a post or how much it moved them, i carry it on my head and run with it to Kilimanjaro when even i know that i'm not a good writer and the only reason people are getting blessed is because i am inspired by the Word through personal experiences.

With the comment box on, I find myself hoping every email notification on my phone is from blogger. It is distracting, immature and stupid!

I am not spiritually strong enough to handle comments and that's why i took them down. I will visit your blogs, keep supporting, encouraging and showing you love and only pray that you keep getting blessed as you read from me.

I also pray you stay strong enough to keep the communication and fellowships alive in your comment boxes, I just need a long minute to get my act right. Again, my email address is dooshima2002@yahoo.com and twitter handle is @doshiX, holla whenever you need to talk, pray or just gist. You are my precious and i'll be there for you





Jest keeding, jeeest keeding...



Seriously though, hola if you need anything. God bless you guys so much, thank you for the love and support you've shown over the past year. I value, appreciate our relationships and love you guys with all my heart.

Happy Valentine's Day