Cysts, Stones and Gypsies

It all started like a joke!
On Wednesday (9th of May), I got home from work sick! I had a banging head ache, was freezing and couldn't stop sneezing for the life of me. I simply went straight to bed because i knew that when my flatmate (who is a nurse) got home from work shortly before midnight, her phone convo would wake me up, i would go meet her and she would get off the phone to take care of me. Which was exactly what happened, she prayed for me and handed me 7 obese pills!


Peanut butter toast, what was left of my hot chocolate and the bad guys

On Sunday (13th of May), my flatmate had family over for dinner and we grilled hamburgers, talked, laughed and just had a good time together. 30minutes after dinner, i realised i was down with severe heartburn. I've had heartburns before so i know for sure what they are like but this was so much worse, the pain wouldn't go away and i couldn't swallow anything (even saliva) without feeling like i had just shoved a rock down my throat. Again, my roommate was there to love on me, pray for me and hand me more pills, the irony!

On Monday (14th of May), I got to work feeling miserable. My throat hurt and i was coughing and sneezing. Later on, one of my colleagues looked at me, smiled and went 'It's the baby room, you finally caught something huh? Welcome!'. I got 2 extra hours at work but they were in the Baby Room and apparently, you're not a teacher till you've caught something from the kids so it made me feel a little better because i knew that once my immune system got over the whole thing i would be stronger and more resistant to little viruses.

Thursday - May 17, 2012
I felt great, everything was fine. I had alot of fun at work, was healthy, happy and grateful to God for good health and Shonda Rhimes.

Playing dress up/ goofing off/ being hot messes!

Friday - May 18, 2012
I woke up with a sore throat, husky voice, banging head ache, coughs and sneezes. It hurt to talk but i had to say almost everything twice because no one could hear me... Long day!

Saturday - May 19, 2012
I woke up at about 2.30am with a sharp pain on my lower right. I got up to go pee and quickly realized that i couldn't stand up straight or walk right. Tears streamed down, the pain wouldn't go away. I said silent prayers. I said loud prayers. I begged God to take it away. I hurt like i had never hurt before and was sure i would die if i did nothing. So i dressed up, told my flatmate's in-law i was going to the hospital and headed out. My flatmate was gone to San Antonio for the weekend and her in-law had 2 little boys so i didn't even bother asking her to take me considering the waking up, car seats and all that wahala.

Anyway, as i drove out i almost regretted not begging her to take me because hitting the gas with my right foot made the pain alot worse but i carried my cross silently as tears streamed down my face and tried to watch where i was going. My flatmate called me about 5minutes after i had left the house because her in-law had called and told her, she prayed for me and said she was going to tell one of our friends to meet me at the hospital but i told her not to bother because i didn't want anyone driving out in the dark for something that might be nothing. That was me forming Miss Independent by the way, lol. Obviously and thankfully, she paid me no mind because 2minutes later another friend (who is also a nurse and had just gotten off the mid-night shift an hour earlier) called me to say she would meet me at the ER.

*Sidenote: the hospital branch 5 minutes from my home turned out to be a clinic without 24hr service so i had to drive 20minutes to Tyler in pain.

I got to the hospital at about 3:20am and to my surprise there was a line, some silently but obviously in pain and very sick while others loud and offensive. I didn't get a bed till about 5am by which time most of the pain was gone but when i was asked for a urine sample and saw blood stream out of me like a running tap, i lost all control and broke down again.

Too silly to take anything serious :p



Beth! :)



I didn't just cry, i wailed. #sissy

After all the tests and poking in every imaginable place, even the unnecessary ones - the nurse couldn't get an IV line in on the first try so she kept poking and shoving the bloody needly into my arm till she finally got it right- the doctor narrowed it down to kidney stones and ovarian cysts, stock me up on prescription painkillers and referred me to a Doctor to see on monday for more tests.




Sunday, 20th May
I woke up with pink eye.

Monday, 21st May
I went to get registered at the hospital and set an appointment with the doctor but one of the nurses was gracious enough to tell me that i didn't have anything to worry about because if it was a kidney stone then the pain was normal and the bleeding meant it was very close to passing out. If it was an ovarian cyst then the bleeding and pain meant it had dissolved on it's own and finally, the pink eye wasn't pink eye but just sinus blockage that would go away with so and so medication.

It's still monday and it's about a quarter past 10pm. I still hurt a little and my eye is still a little swollen and a little red but i am happy and grateful to God for good health and friends who have become family (chief ref to my iBlend fam, Shanpepe, Felicia, Doosh, Hassan and Gbemi). I refuse to believe that this just happened and i was just lucky but see it as a blessing and a miracle from God. I have people here but it's not the same as being home with your mum and cousins and aunties and uncles to fuss over you AND pay your bills (i am still saying silent prayers as i wait for my bill by the way) so i am grateful that by His grace, the worse is over and when the doctor finally sees me, there will be nothing to diagnose.

I was gonna talk about being tagged a gypsy because of my constant moving (3times within the last 8 months and i'll be moving again in August) but this has gotten ridiculously long so i'll just save the gist for another post.

Please keep my health in your prayers and always remember that God loves you.
Stay blessed :*

Death died

Death came

I was walking The Walk, happy, graceful

Death stared

It looked familiar but felt different

Death changed

It was slow this time, sly and fierce

Death struck

I stopped singing praises

Death struck

I stopped tweeting praises

Death struck

I started dying slowly, lost my way, wasn't living in sin per se just wasn't living in the Lord

Death struck

I couldn't pray,  I still read my bible day and night but couldn't spend 5 straight minutes in prayer

Death slipped

Every single time that i read the Bible, there was a Word for me

Death fell

I learnt to download, play, sing along and dance to gospel songs

Death shrieked

I felt the presence of God, His grace, mercy and love wash over me

Death gasped

I fell and rose, fall and rise, am falling and rising, falling but rising

Death died

I was lost but praise be to God, I am found.

Miss Elizabeth!

*I walk into the classroom feeling sexy with the braids i just made

Kid A: Miss Elizabeth, you look bald!
Kid B: No, she doesn't! She just needs a hair cut.
Kid C: *squinting* She looks like a Marine...
Kid D: Miss Elizabeth, you look just like my mum! She has that kind of dress and those kind of shoes and that kind of face
Me: Is this a good face?
Kid D: Yeah, it is. It's a great face!

***
Kid: Why do you have black all over?
Me: Errrm... 'cos i like the shirt and i wanted to go all black today.
Kid: No! I mean, why do you have black all over your skin?
Me: I was born that way baby, there are black people and there are white people
Kid: Oh... So we're all born white and some people turn black when they grow up?
Me: No, some people are born black and some people are born white. I was born black love
Kid: Hm... but if some some people are born black how come all the kids in this class are white?
Me: That's just 'cause there are no black kids in here, I promise you there are black babies. Every black person you see was born black
Kid: Oh... *Looks relieved for a second then sits back looking even more confused*


***
Normally, I'm with the 4s and 5s (pre-k) but I have been a substitute with the 3yr olds for a couple of weeks now and i've grown to absolutely love them too. They are not allowed to sit on their cots when they are piled up after nap time but i usually sit on the pile to watch them eat during snack time. One of the kids always rushes his meal so he can join me and I always let him. Anyway, i was coming back from the restroom one day and met his mum on the corridor, this is what happened...
Mum: *Laughing but looking embarassed* I'm so sorry Elizabeth but i have to tell you this
Me: It's ok, what's wrong?
Mum: Well, i walked into the classroom and saw my kid sitting on the cots but before i could say anything he went 'It's ok mum, my brown teacher said i can sit here'!
All I could do was drop my face in my palm and laugh my heart out. Who cares about political correctness? Innocence is bliss.

***
It's been a long day, the kids have been crazy and I'm just sitting, trying to rest while I watch them play in their centres. One of the kids leaves his centre, grabs a book and walks up to me
Kid: Miss Elizabeth, can you please read this book to me?
Me: *Frowning and looking at the centre where he's supposed to be but deciding to play nice* Errrrm... Ok
Kid: Can i sit in your lap?
Me: *Starting to panic 'cause this is one of my most difficult kids and he's not the fuzzy kind* Errrrm... sure baby
Kid: *Sitting and snuggling close* I love you Miss Elizabeth!

On my birthday with some of my darlyns :D

I love my kids! They drive me crazy sometimes and there have been days when I've been seconds short of grabbing my purse and quitting but there is something about children that no matter how difficult they get, you can't help but love them. Children are amazing, they are giving, loving, sincere and above all, forgiving and I can see why Jesus would say "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me." Matthew 18:3-5

This has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life and there's nothing more precious than having a little child help build your faith in God.

How una dey?  I get all teary eyed when i get emails from you guys, i love you all so much and i am grateful for the opportunity to share stories and experiences with you. May God continue to bless and help you grow to be everything He made you to be.

P.S
My friend, Andy, is having a blogathon this month themed "Write like no one is reading". He is having anyone and everyone submit random posts and he uploads one everyday. I broke the rule a little by writing like everyone was reading, please check it out here-----> Cool Beans and you can holla at him through email or the comment box if you want to submit a post.

P.P.S
If you ever call me Eliza fowl will jam you :p :*
Stay blessed

Beauty from insanity

Empty roads, street lights, starless skies...

**Get into your car between 11pm and 4am, wind down the windows, drive slow, get Frou Frou, The Calling, James Morrison or whoever you're 'feeling' on the stereo and let everything you see become your muse.

Everyday we make decisions; some good, some bad. Some days we get almost everything right, other days we get it all wrong. But like the street lights in the rearview mirror, the moment has passed and the deed is done. So the best thing to do is look ahead through the windshield because we'll see more streetlights on an even bigger road.

Everyday, we make mistakes but the starless skies are like our tomorrows, the starless skies are like our fresh starts, the starless skies are like the new mercies of God every morning. If you get it right the second time, celebrate. If you don't get it right, still celebrate. The fact that you know you didn't get it right is the first step to getting it right.

A late night drive like reality may not always be happiness, inspiration and bright lights, once in a while, you'll have to park by the road, wind up (for security) and cry your heart out. But when you're done, wind those windows back down so the fresh air can blow away your hurt as you continue on your journey.

If you've never done this before i beg you to try it some night. Feel the magic. Experience the beauty. Stop for a moment and take it all in.


The road, street signs and streetlights may be man-made but they were inspired by God and a starless sky is one of the most refreshing things to gaze at. The beauty you see may look the same every night but it feels different every single night.

Thank God for sight, thank God for beauty and above all, thank God for a sound mind.

Yup, we can see this! Yup, she and the picture are beautiful. But no, Wandoo's mind isn't always sound! Lmho *snort*

God bless you

Impossible light!

I know this...

*

I love how all the constellations are named after Greek heroes

It reminds me that even the immortals, they have vices too

I love around 5am when all the lights dim

After the sexy ones have become middle aged in their 12 hour lifespans

When the glitter fades and rests more like sad stars than gold leaf

I love naked, white sheets, how they work like paint thinner to remove last nights fresco

How they dry you off after soaking in a tub of room temperature lovers

I love the cab rides you take back into yourself

Away from the still beautiful people who are all elsewhere

Doing impossibly beautiful things

When you arrive home, you will greet the mirror like a criminal in a line up

With premeditated sins, armed with brass knuckles and all the good intentions

Buried far beneath the rap sheet

I planned to be a sinner tonight

Could have been something else

But looked way too good in my red dress to be anything Christian

I was talking to 3 different men in 5 different languages

I was twisting a blunt straw into page 47 of the kama sutra

I was dancing in an attempt to melt the belts off every man in the room

But I heard the truth that night!

A Turk, speaking Spanish, didn't know me from Adam said

"Tú creas en Dios pero tu haces malas cosas”
'You believe in God, but you do bad things'

Suddenly, I realized I was in a place where all they play is house music
But can’t say I really felt at home
In a barely audible, barely recognizable zone
Between having a good time and simply wasting it

I was a glutton with a grin, drinking warm gin, knowing no one’s name
but somehow I was everyone’s friend
I was standing in stilettos that made me six feet tall
but still felt small
I was messing up the shoes I paid too much for and still hurt to walk in

Talk about conviction!

Truth is, nobody believes me when I say I’m a virgin
Truth is, the bible didn't see the inside of my face for a week while i was on vacation
Truth is, I’m not innocent
I’m just an abstinent fireplace that doesn’t wanna feel the fire kindles between her legs anymore

So don’t mind the ashes, they’re just evidence of how brightly I can glow
And I wanna glow hard, like one dim star
On an otherwise starless night
That shines just to prove its fidelity

I know what you must think of me,
“What hypocrisy!”
But I don’t wanna enter prayer reeking of my addiction, stinking of cologne
I don’t want God to smell another man on me
Mistaking ménage à trois for the Trinity

So thank God the stars don’t judge us for what we do beneath them
Thank God the stars don't see the evil we commit under their names

Thank God for the silence, for the dimness, for nights spent alone,

Thank God for friends who know more than just your bra strap 

And thank God for cab rides home

'Cause tonight, I'm gonna strip the spotlight

Tonight, I'm gonna turn off Frank Ocean

Tonight, I'm gonna take off  the stilettos

I'm gonna take off the tourquoise rings

I'm gonna take off the lip gloss

And i'm gonna sleep naked

Not trying to be sexy just trying to be me, a girl

With a shaved head and with eyes deep enough to stand in

With convictions strong enough to stand on

I'm finding the mercy of God right where i'm standing and

It's binding, it's blinding, it's forgiveness

But most of all,

It's mine!

So tonight, I'm gonna sit out on the fire escape and

I'm gonna sit there eating an apple and

I'm gonna nickname the view "Eden" and

I'm gonna look up at those tragic stars

With their pagan hearts full of mourning and i'm gonna say

"What a fall? But what light, what impossible light?"

*Cab rides and the morning after by Alysa Harris.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity... Psalm 32 :1-2a

Here is a video of her performance and the link ( http://youtu.be/JQHdECyAKIk ) if you can't see it on your phone. Stay blessed!

Houston, home away from home

*razz post alert

How una dey? Hmmmm... that's how i decided to meet and spend a couple of days with Gbemisoke in Houston o, turns out i've been on a dulling p all this while. As soon as i got there, babe didn't even let me get into the house, she asked me to follow her to go get us ogi and akara for breakfast. I was like "Ehn? Ogi and akara ke?" I kukuma flew into the car with my kpakrikpa to see for myself.

The name of the store 'Onola Imports African Foods' didn't really trip me, these are what got me rolling with laughter and joy

No comment

Do you see the mortar? lmho!

There was "salad cream", ribena, cheese balls, custard and stuff you only find in naija.  You should have seen me running around, touching things and smiling like a bush girl. I was sooo happy. We were a little too late for the akara so we just went home and made breakfast but the fact that i was in a place where naija goodies were accessible kept me excited.

Next, we took the kids to IKEA for a radio disney abi na disney radio show, how we ended up eating licking chopping consuming frozen yogurt in the rain is a hilarious tale for another day.

On Sunday, we went to Redeemed for service. Aondo wam man terlem e! Chai! Women were in iro and buba, others had on onigogoro that were reaching for the skies and the ushers had on long skirts and those ridiculously wide hats you only see in (naija) churches. I was almost in tears mehn, i felt so at home and super excited. Like i said on twitter, Gbemi was the first Nigerian i had seen in 6 months and so was the number of black people at RCCG that day and i just couldn't stop smiling and staring.

Anyway, after service, an old friend took me out for naija lunch. I had one correct nkwobi like that ehn? Kai! To make matters better, he took us to an aboki's place for koda and kaza (kidney and chicken) to go and then dropped me off at Gbemi's. You should have seen her reaction what she saw the arrangee, lmho, all plans for dinner were cancelled. My guy woman commot ijebu garri and sugar sharp-sharp, it was the most hilarious thing

Forget the koda for a quick sec, do u see
the sewing machine? Ehen! It is not for
decoration, 'come an sow clot'

My baybeee... Biko, turn ya neck!

chop chop! See as she set mouth

My daughters' husbands *cough*

My latest stash from Gbemi :D

I had a blast mehn, the 4hr road-trip was totally worth it and though my arms still hurt, my heart is still smiling. Gbemi is an amazing woman of God and I absolutely love her (and her family). I have signed the papers and adopted myself into her family whether she likes it or yes cos this is one is a keeper. May the Lord bless and keep you babe, thank you so much for having me over

P.S

I had plans to move to Houston but i think i'll just make it my safe haven, a little home away from home where i can run to whenever i need to refresh my mind and soul. Did i mention we had pepperish fish pie, puff puff, fried yam with akara and plantain for breakfast the day i left? Dey there!

P.P.S

Dis naija chidren dat sombody whee born in yankee dat whee come an start teaching dia parents how to speak English ehn, hia!

My friend: ....... EnglAnd...

His son: It's not EnglAnd daddy, it's EnglEnd! Why do you say it like that?!

Me: *side eye*

****

Gbemi: Don't step into the wota!

Nathan: Woter? Woter? Wader rather!

Me: *side eye*

God bless you guys and have a great day everyone :*

Old Roger

I wrote this piece to be my after life post. I was going to leave it in my drafts, give my cousin my blogger password and have it posted after i passed on (that's if i died before her). But as i wrote, i wondered how many people needed to read this TODAY and it just didn't feel like one i should leave in my drafts 'till the right time' like the others.

Secondly, a couple of bloggers have disappeared and we don't know for sure if they just got tired of blogging or are dead so i beg you guys to let us know if you decide to stop blogging and/or write a letter from beyond and have someone publish it after you've passed. I know say una blood dey hot for dis dormot so you don't have to agree with me or do it o, i just think that people who think they are dying leave no holds barred and good or bad that's the kind of thing people who don't think they are dying need to read. This will still be my letter from beyond by the way, just wanted to share.

***

If you're reading this then it means i am dead. Yes, dead and gone like old Roger! Seriously though, I obviously don't know how i died but my sincere prayer is that i'm in heaven sitting beside my Daddy.  See, you are still alive! Forget what the world will think of you and give your life to Christ. Life is too short to be messing around, trying to please people. If you're not sure that there is a God out there then i beg you to err on the right side, give your life anyway ('cause what do you have to lose afterall) and see for yourself why the gospel has survived after 2,000 years of persecution.

Forgive your family and friends, love them, with all your heart! Preach the gospel as if the world is ending tomorrow because it just might and above all, love God. Love God with emotions and actions so strong you can't describe, love God as if not loving Him will be the death of you, love God with every inch of your being, every breath, every move, every word, love God! Love Him, praise Him, give Him everything then sit back and watch Him work wonders.

Being a christian is not beans, don't expect a smooth ride 'just because' you've given your life to Christ. Only expect that no matter how hard it gets you will be blessed with peace so deep it will leave your jaw on the ground. The kind of peace that makes you smile from within and say "na God", that peace that populates heaven and depopulates hell. Psalm 37:25 Hebrews 13:5 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said "I will never leave you nor forsake you"

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me bring love;

Where injury, pardon;

Where doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy!

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life!

God bless you